i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
