There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My vagina just clenched in fear
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