Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
