wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
