Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
