your room smells of hookers.
And success
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
