I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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