So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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