He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
