in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
