your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
