your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
