What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
