WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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