if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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