I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
