I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
A+ Viking dick
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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