Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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