I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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