I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
