we have officially lost it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
