Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
