Is it normal to miss your booty call?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
