At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
