Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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