I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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