my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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