I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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