Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she peed on how many people?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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