spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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