i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
