U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
