Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
