There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
