is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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