I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
