I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
