so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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