my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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