put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
