i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
