I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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