He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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