I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
