HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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