I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
