i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
