Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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