I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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