Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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