worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
