his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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