***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
