I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
