she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
