I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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