i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
