Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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