i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
