I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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