why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
