Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
