ugly people sure do ruin things
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
