He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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