is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish you could order shots online.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
