i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
