that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
